Finally, a solution to the age old problem of lending out your pens, to never see them ever again. I suppose you could always rig your regular pens with some type of GPS homing device, or electric shock device that is activated by remote control. But that would be way too messy, and you may wind up with some sort of lawsuit in today’s litigious culture.
Thankfully, you do not need to go to such great lengths to solve this issue, thanks to a manufacturer known as “Fred”. They came up with an idea for a set of pens called “Borrow My Pen”. This is a set of 8 unique and funny pens with phony baloney company names and slogans on them. Not just fake names, but embarrassing as well. Not only am I going to list the names and slogans for you, but I will also provide a bonus service completely free of charge. I am going to provide you with the correct use of each individual pen:
“Borrow My Pen” #1 – Springfield Sexual Addiction Center “From perv to perfect in as little as 10 days”
Lend this pen to: The cliche “proper” old lady in the office, or to any of the teenage interns.
“Borrow My Pen” #2 – Shecky the Clown “Bar Mitzvahs – Weddings – Interventions”
Lend this pen to: That big burly loud mouth guy that works in the warehouse who always tries to put on that “tough guy” persona. You know, the guy who is always bragging on Monday morning about how he managed to beat up 3 guys at once, and it took “like 8 cops just to get me into the police car” (his words not mine).You know the guy I’m talking about.
“Borrow My Pen” #3– Electrolysis Is Us “The first name in unwanted hair removal”
Lend this pen to: Either the same old lady as #1, or any of your coworkers who wear a turban.
“Borrow My Pen” #4– Dr. Lance Hughes, Proctology “Turn your head and cough”
Lend this pen to: Either the most homophobic male person in your company, or that prudish young lady in the next cubicle over, who blushes at the slightest “racy” joke.
“Borrow My Pen” #5 – Van Nuys Center For Cosmetic Surgery “Specializing In Difficult Gender Reassignments”
Lend this pen to: This is the M.V.P of your “Borrow My Pen” pens set, because it works for everyone. However, I would especially like to see the faces of the guy from #2 and the guy from #4. FYI, for those who don’t get it, “gender reassignment” is a fancy politically correct way of saying “sex change”.
“Borrow My Pen” #6 – Verdant Fields Nudist Camp “Get in touch with your outer self”
Lend this pen to: The old guy in the office who is always trying to hit on the younger women in the office. If they weren’t all the way creeped out by now, they will be.
“Borrow My Pen” #7 – Stuffed With Love Taxidermy “No pet too small, give us a call”
Lend this pen to: The lady who is always telling you about her cats as if they were her children. It might also work on any vegetarians in the office.
“Borrow My Pen” #8 – Howie’s House of Hair “From barely there to awesome hair in just one hour”
Lend this pen to: O.K, this one is an easy lay up. I will go with the obvious, and say it’s for anyone who is bald or balding. That being said, make sure the hair loss is not cancer (or any other disease) related, because then it’s just not cool. Watch out for that.
You can also get the Fred Borrow My Pens set through amazon as well. The ones up above will take you to Office Playground which is a cool site with tons of wacky office supplies, and I recommend you check them out. However, if you are more comfortable with amazon, you can click this image here to get this pack of 8 or others.
The Fred and Friends brand also makes a ton of other unique and hilarious office products other than the Borrow My Pens pens. Seen here is a daily mood flip chart. Use the chart to select your current mood and display it prominently on your desk so others will get the hint. Click the image for for this mood flip chart, or to start browsing through a whole array of other Fred and Friends brand office products.